What do you do when life is hard, hectic and kind of sucks? You give yourself a little challenge!
While I normally don’t let people’s idealistic photos on social media and blogs fool me into thinking their life is perfect I have fallen into that trap a lot lately. I feel like I have done nothing but struggling for a long time now. First it was a miserable pregnancy that left me on crutches. Then there was colic and while the worst passed it never quite ended. Our little boy seemed to be in pain and had problems sleeping. It took us a long time to figure out but we are now pretty sure it is silent reflux. Now we just need to find the right medicine and hopefully this intense uphill walk is over.
All of this has left me in an eternal state of feeling like I get nothing done ever. I feel like a wreck from not sleeping and I am quite exhausted from carrying around a cranky 10 kg baby day and night. If I actually have the time to do something I am usually too exhausted to be efficient and that frustrates me.
The trap I fell into was subscribing to few blogs and specifically blogs where the bloggers had kids around the same time as I do. While these have perfect make-up, post numerous blog posts a day, participate in TV shows and go to parties and events I pretty much sit at home in my pyjamas trying to get my baby to sleep more than 20 minutes at a time. My make-up is drying up in its containers and complete strangers feel the need to point out that I look really tired at times when I actually get out of the house. I am a pitiful mess and right now my only ambition is just to make sure I am not wearing my clothes inside out when I leave the house…
I try to remind myself that these bloggers are just posting the highlights of their life. The problem is that I cannot stop myself from analyzing and digging. Even it if is just glimpses of their life they do manage quite a lot. Not only do they need to do all the things they are posting (or stage them) but they need to prepare, edit photos, write about it etc.
It becomes especially frustrating considering the fact that one of them is a single mom with two kids. Then there is the American lady with five kids thereof one infant. She is homeschooling them, writes great blog posts and sews beautiful clothes for her kids. All of this makes me feel like a complete failure not getting anything done. I have yet to find a high profile blogger with a colic kid that I could relate to. For some reason these kids seem immune.
All of this has started digging a serious hole into my self-esteem. My self-esteem that is heavily dependent on me watering it with “getting things done”. I should of course count taking care of my kids as one of those things but that is extremely difficult to quantify.
It is so easy to fall into the trap of just focusing on the difficult things and overlook lots of nice moments. Moments that would make my life look a bit more exciting on Facebook and Instagram. So the challenge I am giving myself is to flood my social media feeds with those nice moments for 30 days. When there is a moment that makes me smile, when I get something done, when I do something nice. Basically something that makes me happy even if only for a brief moment. This will hopefully inspire me to do more nice things and realize that I have lots of things to be happy about. Maybe I can even fool someone that my life is a bit more glamorous that it actually is?
I will be posting this experiment on Instagram/Facebook under the hashtag #30perfectdays. I will be keeping it as real as possible. Don’t expect me to start posting selfies in expensive designer clothes or attending parties. It will be normal life and probably a heavy dose of my two kids. Anyone want to join me as an inspiration to catch the magic of this summer?
Here is the first moment that made my heart melt. Just look at these two sweethearts holding hands on the way to Kindergarten. My little girl is carrying flower for a party they are having today. We took a walk through the forest yesterday to pick them. Another moment worth remembering!