Disclaimer: I hope no kids were permanently damaged while making this blog post despite the four year old being placed in front of the TV.

After becoming a mom I have a constant internal monologue. It goes something like this:

Selfish-me: I really need a break and just do something grown-up.
Mom-me: You should be spending time with your kids!
Selfish-me: But I just spent the last four hours with my kids. Now I need a break!
Mom-me: It was only things that you had to do like feeding them, getting them dressed, changing diapers,
getting the little one to sleep. That is not really quality time with them.
Selfish-me: True…
Mom-me: And while you were feeding and getting the little one to sleep your four year old was being neglected. The little one hasn’t really gotten any quality stimulation either today.
Selfish-me: But I need I break! I am tired and under stimulated. I will have forgotten how to be a grown-up if I don’t do something for myself too.
Mom-me: They will only be kids once and time flies. Do you really want to look back and think you wasted that precious time with them. And I know that look on your face, you are considering putting her in front of the TV. That is not good for her and you should really only use it when you have to do housework or make dinner.
Selfish-me: But but but I… *hangs head in shame*

The last week has been exhausting. The four year old has been home sick for a week. The colic infant is getting a little bit better but still requires excessive holding and care. I am tired and I feel the need to create something, to do something that proves to myself that I am a human being and not just a service- robot. Not even mass producing snowflakes with the four year old is satisfying my creative urge enough. I guess all parents have this internal monologue that makes them guilty every time they do something for themselves but I swear it is gonna kill me if I don’t learn to ignore it soon.

I might suck at ignoring guilt but at least I am good at bending the rules. Making a toy for my kid, that counts as “spending time with the kids” doesn’t it? As we carry the infant all the time in a baby carrier I decided to make a doll carrier for her. She got to pick her own fabric and buttons. I used this tutorial but drew a bigger size. Quick and easy project that gave me a little sense of accomplishment. I really needed that!

To my defence the infant was in a baby carrier during almost the entire process so at least I was doing some attachment parenting…

No hands

Padded straps